[From July 29]
I can’t believe it’s over. I’m going home.
Even though I am packed and on the plane back to America
now, I feel like I’m on a really long, cold, bumpy train ride to some cool new
place in Japan and I’ll have to go back to work in a week.
I didn’t cry when the plane took off. I thought for sure I’d
be a hot mess. It’s not that I’m not sad to leave. I spent my last week at
work, sobbing after each class, which is thoroughly embarrassing in front of
Japanese people who show no emotions.
At my goodbye dinner/karaoke party one of my managers told
me she doesn’t know how things are going to go without me. They seem to be
going fine, so far. I haven’t got any phone calls or e-mails. She said I helped
them so much. She didn’t tell me how, but it was nice to hear that. It made all
the tough times there much more valuable and appreciated.
Looking back, this was truly an amazing experience. I complained a lot and really thought I wasn't going to make it, but I did and I have no regrets. I had a
rough start, but my friends and family both know that I don’t adapt well to
change. The same thing happens every time I move to a new place and am forced
to pretty much start my life over. I spend my first few days or so genuinely
excited to start my journey, but gradually become homesick or lonely, but worse
of all stubborn. I refuse to make the process easier by extending myself and
living life independently. Instead, I wallow in my own sorrow and call my
friends and family in hopes that they pity me and sympathize with me. This
always makes things worse. But at the time, nobody understands how I am feeling
and therefore whatever they say is wrong. I really should write myself a letter
now telling my future self (should I ever embark on a similar journey again)
that it’s going to be ok if I would only get a hold of myself and stop being
such a wuss.
Dear future self,
You chose to do this for a reason. Get over yourself and go
make a friend. Don’t be a pussy.
Love always,
Your past
p.s. every time you cry or complain, a baby panda dies.
They’re endangered. Check yourself before you wreck yourself and pandas.
**Dad, next time I go somewhere or do something new, please
discreetly pass me this note from myself that way I don’t get mad at you for
saying all the things I don’t want to hear because I know you’re right.
The year went by quickly. It was filled with A LOT of
working hours, tears, jars of peanut butter, and questionable food. I’ve
thought to myself more times than I can remember, “Is that edible?” In Japan the
answer is always YES. In addition to eating chicken cartilage, I know I ate cow
tongue and pig intestines. I ate some weird roots and twigs, things you would
only eat if you’re a beaver, but I’m still alive so it couldn’t have been that
bad.
August 7
Now that I’m home, it’s time to figure my life out. Step
1—fixing my resume to find a good teaching job. I’m just having some trouble
updating it. I would write “English teacher” on my resume, what do I write in
the description? Isn’t that a given? Well, eally the only requirements for my
previous job were to be white and speak English. I can say that I have
successfully completed my job, but I can’t really write that on my resume. Can
I?
I have spent this week recovering from jet lag and meeting
with friends and family I have missed over the year, but I have also compiled a
list of things I will miss about Japan …
*
My coworkers
*
Weekend adventures with Mary and Valerie
*
Festivals
*
Fireworks
*
I will eventually miss Japanese food, but I’m
not there yet.
*
People drinking on the trains before 11am
*
The trains. You can get across the entire
country! Love it!
*
100 yen shops
*
Wearing slippers at work
*
Safety
*
The Lump and drinking until 6am
*
My sushi man-Anma
*
Photo stickers
*
Vending machines on the streets, even down the
most random alleyways.
*
Cleanliness of convenience stores
*
Convenience stores in general
*
Beautiful scenery, even in a big city.
*
Don’t have to tip
*
Free tissue
*
Cute stationary
*
Bread stores everywhere
*
Karaoke
*
All you can eat and drink places
*
280 yen places-everything is 280 yen!
I know as time passes the memories will gradually come
pouring out. While it’s still fresh in my mind, I’ve also thought of things I
won’t miss…
*
Hot ass summers
*
People yelling in super high pitched voices
*
Squatting toilets (no more guessing if there is
going to be Western toilet)
*
Androgynous looking men
*
The smell of fish and curry everywhere
*
Shrines. If I never saw one again I’d be happy.
I’ve seen SO many and they all look the same
*
Clothes and shoes that don’t fit because I’m America sized
*
ATMs not being 24 hours and your own bank
charging you for taking out money after hours.
*
Not knowing how to say what I want in Japanese
and not being able to understand everything I read and/or hear.
*
Smoking indoors
*
Getting stared at
*
People carrying dead/dried fish on the train.
I am so glad to be home, but a little part of me thinks I
would have been ok staying in Japan
just a little bit longer. There are a lot of places I didn’t see and things I
didn’t do because I only had so much time off. My host sister, Saki, and I made
a promise to each other that I will come to Japan when she gets married and she
will come to America when I get married. Who knows when that will be, but it’s
something to look forward to.
I think I’ve wasted enough time since I returned home and
now it’s back to reality. I have a dentist appointment soon. Until next time! またね！
**pictures and more posts to come**
**************************************
~さようなら sah-yo-nah-rah goodbye
~私は、日本を逃してしまう wah-tah-she-wah-knee-hon-wo-nah-go-she-teh-she-mah-sue. I'll miss you, Japan.
